Drama and all sorts
It has been a little while, I know.
Things have been rather intense.
I started my counselling course last week (hoorah!) and in addition to the one day a week which will be usual, had a study weekend too, which was wonderful, but which now means I am well into my second week of no-day-off. So I'm a bit floopy and eyes-all-sleepy.
Plus we had all sorts of dramatic family crisis last week involving my mother-in-law going mad.
Frankly, and as I think I might even have mentioned, she has always been a wee bit potty. But has also always hidden it under the appearance of being an open and in-touch-with-her-emotions hippy-type who simply says how she feels, man.
But last week it all went a bit, well, dark, and it became clear that the over-emotional hippy no-boundaries stuff does in fact hide some rather more Serious Issues. And poor hub has been in the horrible place of his mother doing something truly unforgivable to his father (they are twenty years worth of divorced), but also constructing a fiction so complex that it is very difficult to confront her with what she has done.
So it was quite a busy week with backwards and forwards phone calls and discussions and emails to social services and all kinds of nasty things that he, or anyone really, just should not have to deal with.
I have been trying to be as supportive as I can, and to be honest, he is doing amazingly well. He is a strong chap, my hub, but nonetheless I have been ensuring he has regular and reliable cuddle access.
It will be ongoing, this situation, but we have at least got through the bit where immediate decisions had to be made.
And of course having just leapt with glee into the world of psychodynamics, the whole thing has given me endless fodder for pondering. And I'm sure hub appreciates my wild break-offs into enthusiastic introductions to psychodynamic theory in his own quiet way. I'm just sure of it.
4 comments:
Awwww dear Miss Floppy. Oh how I (and Hulla) know that floppyness. Best not to think of the no days off thing. You get used to it.
The start of my fourth year of training is this Saturday, at a new (to me) Scotterish training centre (shades of last person to join the Big Brother house). So no weekend for me too. But I'm really looking forward to it.
Spontaneously breaking into enthusiastic snippets of Transactional Analysis theory was also much enjoyed by all in ready earshot. I'm all better now. Plus of course, if I try it with Hulla, she just slags me. Though, actually, she slags me for other reasons too. It's her Scotterish way.
So you enjoy the training
And the theory
And the therapy
And regular and reliable cuddle access!
What more could a man desire?
What?
Woooooooaaaaa, that's a lot for one Miss T to bear. I hope you have a big shouldered therapist to lean on honey.
On the plus side, crazy families make for excellent counselling case studies. See? In every madness there is a gift, no matter how tenuous and obscure.
All I can offer is my understanding and commiserations. Ex MIL, who was always a bit off the wall, is now proper senile. For a while I was able to help since she didn't remember I was an ex- daughter-in-law. Now she has forgotten I exist and I can only help from the sidelines. I find the whole thing very painful.
I particularly miss her weekly phonecalls where she had forgotten I was no longer married to her son. I want to help. But I don't seem to have a role. If I call I have to remind her who I am. And she is never terribly convinced.
It is so sad. But most of all I miss the person she was.
So I give you my empathy. But I don't know what else I can say. Just that it is hard. And I care.
x
i definitly agree with you on this one. i would do the same thing as you if I were you. and to be honest i`m sorry to hear about your mother-in-law going nuts...hope she gest better soon.
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