An Explanation

"But why Miss Tickle?" I hear you ask, "Do you have to raise so much money so very quickly? Are you a slattern?"

The reason is this (it is not very dramatic): we were given the slot only a very short while ago. The lovely directors of the theatre were appointed only a bit more of a short while ago. They had to put together their first season within two weeks of being appointed.

Now, those of you who have applied for funding for "The Arts" will know that you tend to need at least eight weeks. In more cases, at least eight months. So people can read Things you have said about How your project will be of Public Benefit. In many cases, you need to be a registered charity to apply for funding at all (from grants or trusts). Obviously if you have a month or so, you don't have Time for any of this. See here for more on annoying funding things.

And anyway, I don't want theatre to be a charity. Although of course it has to be. Grr.

The theatre itself needs One Thousand Two Hundred pounds a week to cover its rent. It has a capacity of 65. There are six shows a week, one of which is Pay What You Can for poor and lovely artists. The tickets come in at a yield of £9.50, or £5 for Pay What You Can.

We have done some maths. The most it is possibly possible to make is £9,620. And we would only get 70% of that.

This would not cover the production costs. At all. Not even a bit.

Which is why I have been squeaking so much recently. The panic.

Obviously the theatre needs to have some guarantee that we are not nasty con-artists, which is why they have given us a deadline.

My £4,200 deadline.

So say yah boo to all those mean systems of bureaucracy!

And buy a little teeny word for hardly anything.

(Also, the theatre is in Wandsworth, the council that has recently threatened the lovely and hugely important BAC with funding cuts and a massive rise in rent. You would be saying yah boo to them too. Definitely worth it.)