Woolliness

The fact of the matter is that I've been quite busy. And a little woo-woo in the brain.

Time seems to just melt away, like a prawn cracker in tea. Not that I have ever put a prawn cracker in tea. But there may have been a tea spillage on the side once, into which a prawn cracker made its final journey.

In any case. I have a weird arm. I got it from writing notes for the first essay for my course. And that was over a month ago now and the hurt is still hurty (like now with the typing for example) and I am having physio but since the diagnosis seems to be "hurty arm" it feels a little like guesswork. Helpful guesswork.

I have also been juggling some problems with my counselling placement, which has been very anxiety-making, but which seems be sorted out now. Or at least it will be in a couple of weeks.

So I've been a little wonky in the brain, feeling a little out of control, a little oh-my-gosh-I-can't-cope.

I've been eating a lot of cake.

Let's put it like that.

Today hub is doing a writing workshop, and I am doing some tea-drinking and some bed-lazing. (Although I should be doing some editing, but I can't seem to bring myself to actually engage with it.)

I suppose things are a bit split. I'm working two jobs, I'm doing my counselling diploma, I'm doing my placement, I'm trying to give hub the lurve and attention he deserves, and somewhere in all of that I get a bit confused and woolly. Like a tea cosy that wishes it were a bobble hat.

I am geek.

Watch Torchwood Series 2 Finale Upsets Even Hitler in Entertainment Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

I just really really really love this.

(And also, I totally apologise.)

Also, for googling (because everyone should see this) Torchwood, Captain Jack, Joss Whedon, Russell T Davies, Doctor Who.

I am geek. I have no shame.

Displacement

I am writing an essay on infant development and parenting with reference to Winnicott, Bowlby, Klein, and Stern.

Or am I:

Doing the washing up
Making chicken soup
Organising my school timetable
Putting a wash on
Making tea
Eating Ferrero Rocher
Fiddling on Facebook with new Facebook friends
Thinking about first therapy session after Christmas
Blogging
Emailing the husband
Looking for books on the library system
Printing out photos
Calling work

What I like to think is that my unconscious has to have time to process and digest so it can come up with the incredible insight from which my essay will be formed.

And I think I'm largely totally right about that.

Now, anyone for a quick game of Scramble?

Now I do hope you all have a very very happy new year.

These are my new year's wishes to you.

WISHES!

So. 

I wish you lots of nice food and drink including fun nibbly things like Cheesey Footballs or Twiglets and alcoholic things like Gins and Tonics or Champagne. And if you do not drink, I wish you freshly squeezed orange juice, or whatever you would most like really.

I also wish you lots and lots of laughing, maybe generated by ridiculous games or ridiculous people or just lots of general hoo-hah and silliness.

I wish you Interesting Stuff. Stuff that you find Interesting. It might be archaeology or physics or kittens or soft furnishings. I quite like the yoof. They keep me on my toes.

And also I wish you curiosity, calm, joy, love and snoozing. 

And of course, tea.

On reflection, 2008 has been a teensy bit challenging. But right now, right this second, I feel kind of okay about that. 

It is probably because I am still in bed.

Do the thing! Do it!

There is a lovely thing!

It is here and it is made by the brilliantness that is Stray. She is making a film. She is often doing exciting stuff like that.

ANYWAY. Go! Look! It is about things that matter! Like puppies and tea and fields!

Also, I was 30 yesterday. And hub made me eggs benedict. And it was really very tasty.

Bye-eeee!

Whirlwind-ish.

BOTTOMS!

I am back.

Yes I bloody buggery am.

Unfortunately, I have little of substance to say. Other than we built the weird cat a ladder-plank sort of device to help her escape from our outdoor "patio" (small square of concrete) into the heavenly wilds of the wilderness beyond (flat above's garden).

She has not used it yet. It is disappointing.

Life continues apace. I have developed hysterical headaches as a clear message to myself to get some sleep and spend more time watching rubbish telly. Unfortunately this does not fit too well with two jobs, a post graduate studying doodah for which an essay is shortly due, and beginning a placement in which I (I!) must counsel youth.

As if I knew any stuff at all.

In the meantime I am reading books called things like "Working with Adolescents: a Contemporary Psychodynamic Approach", desperately browsing (can one browse desperately?) the internet for presents for hub's 30th birthday, closing my eyes and sticking my fingers in my ears about the approach of my 30th birthday (one week's time!) and trying to deal with my extreme pissed-offness at the increasingly hurtful behaviour of my sisters (including promised presence then sudden unexplained absence at aforementioned birthday frolics).

Oh I am nothing but a write-as-you-would-vomit dear little thing today, aren't I just!

PS. The funeral was, well, y'know, as funerals are. I did read. And I was glad of it.

Holding

Well.

It has been a strange week. Granny's funeral is this Friday and so all week I have had a sense of having to hold something. A big wodge of feeling. And it has been strange being away from home, from mum and dad while this big thing is happening. Everything is on hold until I go back.

I am trying to decide whether to read something at the funeral. My youngest sister is going to, and there was a suggestion that all three of us should. I would like to, but at the same time I am afraid that I won't do her justice, that I won't find the right thing to read, and that I will fall apart like a blubbing fool in front of the entire WI (the entire WI will be there. Oh yes they will. She was a stalwart of the Women's Institute, my granny).

So today I am mulling it over. Wondering what I could read. What I could say. How I could express just a tiny bit of who she was and what she meant to me.

It is crazy really.

In other news, I am making a casserole. And the weird cat is making very weird noises.