Dos and Don'ts

Dos and Don’ts For Parents (from a teenager’s point of view).

By Miss Tickle. Aged 13. (Truly.)

• DON'T laugh at your child/teenager, no matter what they’ve said or done, if they’re trying to be serious.
• DO give them a cuddle if they’re crying.
• DO give them their freedom.
• DON’T be too protective.
• DON’T just say things like: "Don’t be stupid", "What a silly thing to say", "Why did I bother?"
• DO let them spend up to half an hour on the phone.
• DON’T nag, if you say it more than twice, they’ll get annoyed.
• DO give them lifts.
• DO take notice of what they say.
• DO set out clear rules on almost everything, so as not to have too many arguments.
• DON’T be insensitive.
• DO try to get to know them.

(I think I might adopt this DO/DON’T attitude in my daily life. Especially with Hub: "DON’T answer “I don’t know, what do you want?” when I ask you what you’d like to eat, DO bring me tea in the morning." And so forth. Perhaps a list on the fridge.)

But really, it is all just quite boringly sensible.

Although I do not know what the yoof of today would say to being allowed up to half and hour on the phone.

Probably nothing, they would just go off and be interwebby.

I am also a little intrigued by what exactly I meant by “DON’T be insensitive”. I think it is excellent advice, but I do wish it were a little more specific.

And I know, obviously the time when your teenager is the most amusing is when they are trying to be serious, but really. Some of the things I loved got broken that way. And I do not mean that in a metaphorical sense.

PS. This is not, as I acknowledge that it might possibly seem, a damning indictment of my parents. They were hopeless and wonderful in equal measure, as I think most parents are.