Memes galore

Life has gone a bit weird at the moment, so I am grateful to Cliff for tagging in a timely fashion, just when I was wondering how not to abandon my blog forever. I am leaning on memes, and that works for me. I do hope it works for you too.

1. My uncle once: went to school with Bill Oddie.

2. Never in my life: have I not stopped to gawp at puppies.

3. When I was five: I wouldn't wear trousers, only dresses.

4. High school was: mostly an unhappy experience.

5. I will never forget: crying so much when I got married that Eric the registrar said "Well done" every time I managed to get the words out.

6. Once I met: Sir Ian McKellan. But my sister met Brian Blessed and that is much better.

7. There’s this girl I know: actually, there are these two girls I know, they are my sisters and they are completely and utterly brilliant. But terribly short.

8. Once, at a bar: I fell asleep. Or cried. One of the two, and always in a bar. Shortly after eating crisps.

9. By noon, I’m usually: on my fourth cup of tea.

10. Last night: I considered leaving the country.

11. If only I had: known that it is okay to be who you are.

12. Next time I go to church: I will feel envious of the peace I find there.

13. What worries me most: is difficult to say because frankly I worry about everything from the fate of the tiger to how stupid my growing-out fringe looks and if I am going off raspberries in between.

14. When I turn my head left I see: Chloe my parents' dog snoozing on the sofa.

15. When I turn my head right I see: a wall.

16. You know I’m lying when: I smile all the way through speaking.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: being at primary school. I loved primary school.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: now is this what I am or what I would like to be (Beatrice)? And is it what I am at the moment (if I'm honest, probably nearing Ophelia) or what I am usually (more like Trinculo)?

19. By this time next year: I'll be a millionaire.

20. A better name for me would be: Gloria. I think Gloria would be a better name for most people.

21. I have a hard time understanding: maths. I am genuinely dysnumeric and do weird things with time in particular, often resulting in dramatic early/lateness.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: have more perspective about the whole thing.

23. You know I like you if: I pinch your bum.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my husband.

25. Take my advice, never: take a balloon out of a home-made pinata until the whole thing is completely dry.

26. My ideal breakfast is: pineapple, then fresh bread and marmalade, with freshly squeezed orange juice and an endless supply of tea.

27. A song I love but do not have is: Do You Know The Way To San Jose by that singing lady whose name I can't remember and can't be bothered to google.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: bring some wellies.

29. Why won’t people: value nature more.

30. If you spend a night at my house: the freezer is really loud and might keep you awake. But the cat is brilliant.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: is too late. My wedding has been and gone. And Christian Slater didn't turn up. And neither did that Scottish bloke I quite fancied last night on Lost Land of the Jaguar.

32. The world could do without: women's magazines.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: sleep with Jeremy Vine.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: I'm not really a fan of blondes but let's say Paul Bettany for sake of argument.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: napkin rings. Honestly, what's the blooming point in napkin rings?

36. If I do anything well it’s: listen.

37. I can’t help but: wriggle my toes in bed at night.

38. I usually cry: full stop.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: laugh, cry, talk, love and do silly dances.

40. And by the way: this too will pass.

TAG! Bobo and Hullballoo and Anna please.