Endings.
It was bright and gusty and full of sunshine.
With walks and sea and dogs.
And cake.
And I am a little sad to be back. If I am honest.
As we flew in the tiny-slightly-like-it-might-fall-apart plane back towards the mainland, away from the islands that somehow seem to be safekeeping a big bit of my happy, my shiny memories, a large slice of all the good that has happened to me, I did snuffle a little bit, my eyes did leak slightly.
And sitting by my hometown sea today with the rain falling softly on my head, my eyes again went a little wibbly, a little wobbly and I let them. No one looked. It might have just been the rain.
Over the past three months I have been doing an introduction to counselling course. The last session was before we went on our glorious weather-beaten holiday. And it was about endings.
And what they mean to us.
They mean quite a lot to me at the moment. They seem to worm their way in to a little place somewhere inside my little being. And once they are there, they turn on a little tap.
Which is connected to a small hose.
Which is connected to my eyes.
I didn't want my pregnancy to end. I didn't want our holiday to end. I don't want our time in this flat, my home, to end.
But it all blooming ends.
Doesn't it.
Grr.
6 comments:
I sort of did that course and the diplomma by proxy - typing up all the essays and assignments for my sister and brother in law.
It's a very emotional journey but worth it in the, er, end. I think you'll make a fantastic counsellor and letting your eyes leak helps you come to terms with the endings.
{{hugs}}
As I have said before, leaking eyes aren't necessarily a bad thing. And most endings are actually beginning as well. I know that sounds like clap trap, but they are. I think we re-model our lives based on the endings and what we have learnt. There is no moment where we are done. But there is always something to look forward to. Even if it isn't quite in view yet.
x
you will have so many great new beginnings too, I'm hoping for you
Let them leak, let them pour. You'll feel better for it later.
Let the eyes leak, then have a large steamy mug of chocolate, then remember that you have a whole lifetime to look forward to, and hundreds of beautiful beginnings to have, and holidays to go on, and a gorgeous family that you so deserve, and must believe you will have. Things are much more like to happen if you say to yourself, 'I AM going to have this' instead of 'I hope I'm going to have this'
Loads of hugs and kisses!
Rachel
Oh Miss Tickle, I am afraid leaky eyes are an occupational hazard in counselling. Well done you for making the emotional journey.
And more huge hugs for you.
H
xxxx
What a lovely post. Thank you.
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