Holding
Well.
It has been a strange week. Granny's funeral is this Friday and so all week I have had a sense of having to hold something. A big wodge of feeling. And it has been strange being away from home, from mum and dad while this big thing is happening. Everything is on hold until I go back.
I am trying to decide whether to read something at the funeral. My youngest sister is going to, and there was a suggestion that all three of us should. I would like to, but at the same time I am afraid that I won't do her justice, that I won't find the right thing to read, and that I will fall apart like a blubbing fool in front of the entire WI (the entire WI will be there. Oh yes they will. She was a stalwart of the Women's Institute, my granny).
So today I am mulling it over. Wondering what I could read. What I could say. How I could express just a tiny bit of who she was and what she meant to me.
It is crazy really.
In other news, I am making a casserole. And the weird cat is making very weird noises.
7 comments:
Is it what you want to do?
Is there something you want to say?
Would there be an injustice in not trying to do her justice?
If you fell apart, what's the worst that would happen? Are you secretly harbouring WI ambitions of our own, and fear they might be scuppered by a lack of stiff upper lip?
{{{{{Miss Tickle}}}}}
That is exactly what I am trying to work out. You have uncovered me!
I both want to say something and don't want to say something. I want to stand up and say how much she meant to me and am scared that I won't be able to.
But how could I ever really? It would be impossible to capture a person's entire being in a few sentences.
Which leaves me with the option of just doing something she would have liked.
I am thinking of doing
a poem about fairies.
And I am undecided. It might be that I don't need to read, that that's not what is important. It's just that I haven't worked it out yet...
Don't be scared you wont be able to say how much she meant to you ... giving a hint will probably be enough. I'm sure others can fill in with their stuff or yours.
PS: Don't think I'm not noticing someone sidestepping the whole WI ambition thing.
this is a pebble -> (o)
you can keep it in your pocket for a while if it helps.
Good luck mulling, we are thinking of you,
Sx & Ms Mx
Ah sweetie, if the right thing to say comes up then say it, if it doesn't then it doesn't. Either way I'm sure your Granny knew exactly how much she meant to you xx
What's in the casserole btw? :)
Big hugs for tomorrow sweetheart.
I stood up and read a prayer at my dad's funeral and found it a very powerful experience, one of the bravest things I have ever done. And it would have been fine had I decided not to speak.
{{{Miss Tickle}}
Thank you for all of your loveliness chaps. xx
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